In my experience of helping thousands of men solve their sexual function challenges, it's crucial to understand their causes and how these causes influence the sexual act. Lack of sexual knowledge and inexperience are the leading premature ejaculation causes.
I believe in sharing knowledge that truly empowers people, so in this article I address the most frequent premature ejaculation causes, and what you can do about them. It's time to know how to time your ejaculation, connect with confidence, and satisfy both partners in bed.
From losing your self-confidence to your partner's desire to connect sexually, premature ejaculation (PE) leads to the demise of many relationships. Technically speaking, ejaculating within 3 minutes of intercourse is generally considered to be premature. The hard reality for many men is that they don't make it to intercourse before ejaculating.
Whether it is less than a minute or 20 minutes, premature ejaculation is not lasting long enough for you and your partner to feel fulfilled sexually.
Studies indicate that up to 80% of men suffer from sexual dysfunction problems including premature ejaculation.
If you suffer from premature ejaculation, please understand you are NOT broken! You are simply missing vital knowledge and the correct sexual technique! By first understanding premature ejaculation causes, you can then fill in the missing gaps in your knowledge base. This enables you to restore a happy and satisfying sex life and turbocharge your emotional connection with a partner.
What's most important in an intimate relationship is a fulfilling emotional connection where both partners are able to express themselves and enjoy their sexual time together - with the end result of feeling engaged and fulfilled sexually!
The desire to reach an ultimate level of connection with their partner is why most men want premature ejaculation causes explained. Premature ejaculation can occur before foreplay, while giving foreplay, receiving foreplay, applying a condom, during penetration, during intercourse and when changing sexual position.
It's also common for men to ejaculate early during masturbation. Later in this post, I give a full run-down of premature ejaculation causes which are timing related, so you can understand where you may have been going wrong.
While lasting for five minutes is considered to be "average" for men during intercourse that is not at all optimal because most women take 15-20 minutes to reach an orgasm! Women are sadly lacking in advanced sexual knowledge too, so the vast majority (80%) have problems reaching an orgasm. While this is partly to do with her partner's sexual technique, and ability to last the required duration, she also needs to know how to correctly balance her sexual focus so her brain receives the necessary signals.
Performance anxiety and stress are common concerns, and among the most prevalent premature ejaculation causes. Mental stress and anxiety influence sexual performance by causing a mental contamination problem. This happens when you're focused on worrying about a potential problem rather than being focused on the dynamics of engaging sexually, especially with a partner.
Most people have not been taught a sex education relative to engaging sexually. So there is lot of confusion and guesswork involved! Not knowing how to smoothly shift your attention between yourself, your partner, and the actions of sex is one of the leading premature ejaculation causes.
Updating your knowledge base and applying the right sexual techniques will eliminate anxious thoughts related to sexual performance from your experience.
"I followed what you said about during sex. For the first time she was moaning (feminine moan) which turned me on even more and her moan became more intense. It wasn't a long session, I would say no more than 10 minutes entirely. At the end, she orgasmed and then I came right after her (seconds after she finished). She told me wow that was intense....NEVER heard her say that before. You are a great person and I want to thank you for the advice you have been giving me."
Premature ejaculation can sneak in when attention takes a detour during the heat of the moment. Get too caught up in your own sensations, and bam—sudden sensitivity and an early finish. It's time to steer your focus right for a more satisfying sexual experience.
Discover the transformative power of Great Sex No Problems and take control of your sexual performance!
Early ejaculation often signals a misdirection of attention during sexual activity, causing your penis to ejaculate before you're ready. The timing of when you ejaculate depends on how you are focusing your attention: before foreplay, during foreplay, leading up to penetration, applying a condom, during penetration, during intercourse, and also during changes of sexual position.
Too much attention on your own experience will heighten your awareness of sensation in your penis and cause you to ejaculate early!
These are the 10 most common premature ejaculation causes during the sexual act which are timing related. Explained from the male point of view, I have included the focus imbalances which lead to ejaculating prematurely:
When you ejaculate before foreplay, chances are that you have been overly focused on yourself. Whether you are worrying about your penis (or trying not to worry about it), how aroused you are feeling, or overindulging in images of sexual fantasies and the sensations in your penis, any of these focal points can overwhelm your senses to the point where you ejaculate far too early.
Ejaculating during foreplay indicates you are overly focusing on how arousing your partner is and how aroused you are feeling. You may be trying not to think about ejaculating or worrying about ejaculating. This indulgence in your own experience overstimulates your brain sexually which causes you to ejaculate.
Ejaculating when putting a condom on or when applying lubrication, tends to be caused by overly focusing on how aroused you are feeling. Thinking how overstimulated you are and trying not to think about ejaculating, results in ejaculation.
You are too focused on yourself. How aroused you are feeling, how overstimulated you are... and trying not to think about ejaculating at penetration time. See how there's a common thread of self-focus going on here?
Ejaculating at the start of penetration indicates you have focused too much on yourself during foreplay, or how arousing your partner is - and trying not to think about ejaculating as you penetrate! A dry entry increases friction and increases the likelihood of over stimulating your brain sexually at penetration time.
When you ejaculate while changing position, you are either focusing too much on how arousing your partner is, or how aroused you are feeling. Worrying about premature ejaculation, and trying not to think about ejaculating prematurely create mental images that signal your brain to initiate ejaculation.
When you ejaculate during intercourse, you are switching back too frequently to thoughts about your penis - either worrying about ejaculating, trying not to think about ejaculating, or trying not to focus on the sensations in your penis and how arousing your partner and/or intercourse are for you.
Ejaculating early during all sexual activity, indicates that you are way too focused on your own experience! Did you know that worrying about ejaculating and trying not to think about ejaculating both send your brain clear signals that ejaculation is the program you want your brain to complete?
Feeling over stimulated during foreplay, then losing your erection at the start of penetration indicates you are focusing too much on how aroused you are feeling during foreplay. Then trying not to feel over aroused during foreplay... then overcompensating your change of focus to the point of losing your erection!
Worrying about losing hardness before you penetrate can also cause this problem. In addition to this, when the muscles which support a strong erection become weak, it can take longer to restore a hard erection after ejaculating early.
Feeling over stimulated during foreplay, putting a condom on and at the start of penetration and then losing erection hardness during intercourse. This results from focusing too much on how aroused you are feeling during foreplay, worrying about ejaculating (and trying not to think about ejaculating at the start of penetration). Then trying not to feel overstimulated during intercourse and worrying about losing your erection during intercourse.
Too much focus in the wrong direction will cause PE or ED. Premature ejaculation is predominantly caused by a male being overly focused on himself, thinking about how aroused he is feeling or how arousing his partner is, worrying about ejaculating early and trying not to think about ejaculating early.
The problem here is that most men haven't received a sex education relevant to completing a sexual act. Therefore, when he finds himself starting to feel like he's losing control he doesn't know what to switch his focus from, and to. This can lead to an erectile dysfunction (weak erection) issue as he wildly catapults himself from one end of the sexual arousal scale to the other with no fun in between.
As you know, this kind of sex is not fulfilling for either partner. Sex can become an embarrassing and labor intensive process as a man desperately tries to control the awareness of feeling in his penis so he can focus on completing the job.
Many men and couples are on a quest to prevent premature ejaculation without medication. It's important to understand that wrong sexual focus causes premature ejaculation and many other forms of sexual dysfunction. This includes erectile dysfunction and being unable to ejaculate or reach orgasm.
Therefore, to prevent premature ejaculation without medication a male needs to upgrade his knowledge and skill base so he can correctly balance his sexual focus between himself, his partner and the actions of sex.
This gives him the perfect control he seeks.
Many of my clients have told me it is extremely satisfying to be in charge of their body without drugs!
"I have been able to fix my problem. I'm able to last longer. I have my wife begging and I give her orgasms like no other now and I have also gained in length and thickness."
- Joshua, England*
Like no other
"You are extremely amazing, I was scared to have sex, but I can tell you now... Am so proud of myself that I am a man again. Am a beast when it comes to sex. Thank you, thank you for saving me."
- James, Africa*
Proud of myself
"PE had always affected us, but it kept getting worse. I wanted us both to have a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship so I bought Jacqui's program. My wife and I are both really pleased with the results."
- Mark, Australia*
Both really pleased
Embarking on the journey to stop premature ejaculation naturally and permanently requires a fundamental understanding of the intricacies of the sexual arousal scale. Mastering the art of balance in sexual focus during foreplay, penetration, and intercourse is crucial. By providing your brain with the right signals, whether during solo or partnered activities, you'll activate the necessary hormones and muscle programs. This ensures complete control over your arousal.
By effectively managing sexual focus during intimacy, a man's brain can activate and maintain the desired sequence of sexual responses: Erection, Hard and in Control, Ejaculation.
You cannot try not to think about a pink elephant without immediately thinking about a pink elephant, and the same is true regarding arousal of your penis! By implementing correct strategies you will transform your sexual experience.
"Thank you so much for your help. It helps me calm down mentally to have sex. Calmed down the anxiety and muscle tension."
Dealing with premature ejaculation and its impact on women means understanding the issues faced by both partners. This becomes more complicated when women struggle to reach orgasm. For them, lasting longer during sex becomes important.
Tackling these concerns is crucial to ensure a satisfying sexual experience for both partners, especially when dealing with premature ejaculation and women.
How many times do you find yourself panicking when your partner starts making happy noises? Not only can this make you feel excessively turned on, it indicates that the request for penetration will soon be forthcoming! This can lead to a great deal of performance anxiety for a man who is already concerned about his ability to last long enough and can intensify the pressure he is feeling.
During foreplay, a woman's male partner needs to stay hard and in control for the required duration. It may be 10, 20, 30 or more minutes before she is ready for penetrative intercourse, however when she is ready she expects her partner to be ready too!
Correctly balancing your sexual focus during foreplay makes penetration easy. When penetration is easy, you will naturally experience less performance anxiety during intercourse. This enables you to stay focused on your partner to enhance connection.
Premature ejaculation often arises from excessive self-focus during intimate moments. With thoughts revolving around arousal levels, partner's arousal, and worries about ejaculating early. Not knowing specifically where to focus next, can result in confusion when attempting to shift attention. This potentially leads to weak erections and a dissatisfying sexual experience for both partners.
The best cure for premature ejaculation is to focus on specific actions of fulfilling your partner. This enables you to maintain and enjoy a fulfilling emotional connection while you naturally stay in control of when you ejaculate. There is a fine balance here however, because too much focus on your partner can cause you to lose your hard erection!
In addition to this, if your mind wanders during sex you can lose your erection or lose control, depending on how you try to compensate when you realize you have lost focus.
Accidental ejaculation happens when your brain receives the incorrect ratio of sexually arousing signals or it is receiving signals in the wrong order (or the signals are unrelated to the sexual act you are performing). Balancing your sexual focus correctly, requires slight adjustments throughout foreplay, penetration, and intercourse to ensure you stay hard and in control.
When you're driving a car, becoming distracted can cause loss of control. This also happens to us sexually. To cure premature ejaculation, you need to know how to smoothly move through the gears in the right order with the right timing. This enables an enjoyable and satisfying experience for you and your partner.
"After a lifetime of ejaculating within a minute (and for the past 5 years losing my erection hardness) I was able to stay hard and in control for over 10 minutes... the next time I had sex!"
- Dr Sam (Surname withheld),
"I have tried many types of drugs, consultation with many therapists and many herbs and Ayurveda. Your discovery and solution to sex problem in males is 200 times better than all other pills and suggestions combined."
- Dr Vijay Raghavan, Award-Winning Diabetes and Metabolic Specialist
"I’ve been to medical conferences all around the world, searching for an answer to my ED problem... Jacqui offered a completely different perspective – I am amazed at how well this technique works!"
- Dr Brian (Surname withheld),
Ideally a man can last for 20-30 minutes during foreplay as well as intercourse to ensure he is able to totally fulfill himself and his partner sexually. To achieve this and fix premature ejaculation requires upgrading his knowledge and skill base with the correct knowledge and technique.
Recommended by medical professionals, my Sex Mastery program for men: Hard AND in Control is 100% private and confidential. You can watch it privately on my website and download the contents.
You will learn step-by-step how to correctly balance your sexual focus to stay in control of when you ejaculate during foreplay, penetration, intercourse, and masturbation. You would be surprised how many of my clients went from ejaculating within seconds of penetration to not being able to ejaculate for more than an hour, after going through my program! So insights on losing erection hardness or being unable to ejaculate are covered too.
One payment gives you lifetime access so you can fix premature ejaculation (and erectile dysfunction), with informative resources provided to keep as back-up. I also have a Sex Mastery program for women, if you want your female partner to be able to easily reach orgasm.
A satisfying sex life can be easily achieved, all it takes is a few simple tweaks in your approach to sex and intimacy. I have total confidence my unique insights will set you up sexually for life.
"It amazes me how simple and effective your methods are. This is the kind of sex education everyone wishes they had!"
- Deb Morgan,
Relationship Coach & Podcast Host
"Your views about sexual function, human psychology and emotions will one day, change whole of medicine... I always recommend your website to my patients."
- Dr Vijay Raghavan, Award-Winning Diabetes and Metabolic Specialist
"Jacqui's system of connecting the mind and patterns of sex to reclaim your sexual function or enhance your sex is fascinating and insightful."
- Amy Schadt,
Producer, The Unstoppable You
Most of my customers get relief after their first session, and recover completely after finishing the program.
More testimonials here
"I want to thank you for your help and support in resolving the issue that I had with ED. Our sex life is now beautiful and fulfilling... Knowledge works wonders!"
- Edward, New Zealand*
Knowledge works wonders!
"The videos were excellent. We have made so much progress and pretty much ended the problem. Thank you, thanks for the videos."
- Rosemary, New Zealand*
Videos were excellent
"Your technique is the best! I maintained a hard erection and lasted for almost close to 20 minutes for the first time ever. Thanks a lot I really mean it."
Your technique is the best!
As the founder of the Psychosexual Alignment methodology and published author, Jacqui has helped thousands of men and women easily resolve sex problems and restore emotional connection. Get your ultimate sex education and elevate intimacy to an exciting new level of engagement with Jacqui's Sex Mastery Programs for Men and Women
© Jacqui Olliver. All Rights Reserved. DMCA protected. The content on this website is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. *Results vary from person to person. Questions? Please email me directly and let me know how I can help: [email protected]